Webster’s defines pride as “an exaggerated opinion of oneself.” I can’t think of a single instance when, in that sense, pride is beneficial. And if you’re a disciple of Christ, pride must be executed. Jesus said, “If anyone wants to become my follower, he must deny himself, take up his cross daily, and follow me” (Luke 9:23). Yet nothing’s harder for a porn addict than denying himself. Why? Larry Crabb wrote, “The lethal blow is dealt not to our humanity, but to its corruption. Because our soul is so thoroughly stained with self-reliance, the death of pride feels like the death of our self.” Exactly. Next Jesus added, “For whoever wants to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (Luke 9:24). Our pride takes those words as a personal threat and it’ll do everything possible to protect itself. I previously wrote about some of the excuses porn addicts use to justify their atrocious, destructive habit. Fact is, pride’s the only one that’s legitimate because it’s the root of the problem. So when they learn becoming a born-again Christian entails killing it, pride will fight tooth and nail to survive. Thus pride becomes the #1 enemy of the “new creation” the Holy Spirit initiates and begins to nurture in the believer. And that battle for supremacy can get downright brutal.
Pride isn’t just one thing. It’s an overbearing, micromanaging multitasker poking its self-promoting nose into every aspect of a person’s life (especially the porn addict’s), convincing them they won’t find fulfillment if it’s not in charge. What it hides is that it’s a cancer. Solomon wrote, “Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall” (Proverbs 16:18). Since the word haughty is passé nowadays it behooves us to recall its true meaning – thinking we’re better than someone else. No wonder it’s rarely used! This world teems with haughty people who won’t admit they are! God has a major problem with haughtiness. He said, “I will destroy anyone who slanders his neighbor in secret. I will not tolerate anyone who has a cocky demeanor and an arrogant attitude” (Psalm 101:5). Due to that ominous warning pride’s extremely self-protective. Other entities, God in particular, make it feel vulnerable so it erects walls and barriers accordingly. The Bible states, “God opposes the proud, but he gives grace to the humble” (James 4:6). Pride despises humility because a humble mien is the strongest weapon an addict (of any kind) can wield to break free of their debilitating obsession. Therefore pride’ll try to convince the mind humility’s a sign of weakness that’ll only lead to opportunistic folks taking advantage of them. It’ll also tell the porn addict they have every right to proudly view whatever they darn well please.
When pride is seated on the throne the addict becomes unapproachable. Attempts to confront, correct or advise them regarding the error of their ways are summarily ignored. Even a Christian addict will accuse those who dare suggest they’re in deep denial about their affliction of being judgmental and cite Matthew 7:3 about their having a “beam of wood” sticking out of their eye. In essence, pride cultivates in the individual a “know-it-all” mindset that’s nearly impossible to reason with. That was me. Nobody could tell me nothin’. I had all the answers. Or so my pride assured me. Paul wrote, “If someone among you thinks he is wise in this age, let him become foolish so that he can become wise. For the wisdom of this age is foolishness with God” (1 Corinthians 3:18-19). Until I hit a brick wall in my addiction I never entertained for a moment the thought there was a lot I didn’t know and had to learn. You see, I was too busy conning folks, masquerading as a wholesome “good guy” who had no sinful vices. As far as I was concerned my downloads didn’t stink. Therefore I didn’t need a fun-spoiling God. I was doing His job just fine, thank you very much. I deemed His moral laws outdated so I felt empowered to make up and live by my own. Indulging in porn? Shoot, as long as I kept it private it was okay in my book. Ironically, even though I was the world’s worst backslider my puffed-up pride had fostered in me an unsubstantiated “holier-than-thou” mentality that, in retrospect, I now find shameful. How blind I was! I’d gotten baptized when I was 9 so I figured, since my “ticket to heaven” was permanently punched, that symbolic act gave me carte blanche to tell others what horrible sinners they were. All these negative traits were products of my unrestrained pride. That’s why Jesus taught it must be defeated; else it’ll rule and ruin us.
My egotistic “old self” addicted to porn had to die so the humble “new self” could take over. Andrew Murray wrote, “This is the true self-denial to which our Savior calls us – the acknowledgement that self has nothing good in it except as an empty vessel which God must fill. It’s simply the sense of entire nothingness, which comes when we see how truly God is all, and in which we make way for God to be all.” Humbling oneself before your Heavenly Father doesn’t mean you’ll now develop self-loathing or low self-esteem issues. The silent inner peace that grows from willfully obeying Christ’s teachings and joyfully serving your fellow man is a blessing. Surety of purpose fosters the healthy spiritual love for yourself Jesus insisted is essential to holiness. He taught, “Let him who is the greatest among you become the servant” (Luke 22:26). Yes, that’s extremely difficult. Embracing a servant’s outlook goes against everything this fallen world advocates so Christians have to fight not only their stubborn pride but the secular “anything goes” mentality surrounding them. But here’s the truth: The addict who loves others as himself will see their desire for pornography fade – along with their pride.
Even Christians Get the Blues 