Paul spoke about his dramatic conversion on the Damascus road often. He once testified, “I saw a light from heaven, brighter than the sun shining everywhere around me and those traveling with me. When we’d all fallen to the ground, I heard a voice saying to me in Aramaic, ‘Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting me? You’re hurting yourself by kicking against the goads.’ So I said, ‘Who are you, Lord?’ And the Lord replied, ‘I am Jesus, whom you are persecuting’” (Acts 26:14-15).
Why would our Savior say such a thing if it wasn’t something He knew would shake Paul to his core? How could it not have been an intentional jab that struck Paul in the place where he was certain his growing doubts about his religion were safe from being discovered by his peers?
Since goads (sharply-pointed sticks) aren’t found in our modern-day vernacular it’s important to know what that statement, coming from Jesus, means. James S. Stewart wrote, “The vivid little picture of the recalcitrant animal which, as it’s being yoked to the plow kicks out at the man behind it and only injures itself by doing so, suggests very forcibly the condition of Paul’s mind and heart immediately prior to his apprehension by Christ.”
So, what were the “goads” Paul had been kicking against? There were several but one that troubled him greatly was his ever increasing sense that Judaism’s strict laws, the very things he’d long been consumed by and dedicated to defend, were insufficient to save anyone’s soul. He’d done everything a loyal member of God’s chosen race was supposed to do. Nevertheless, he had yet to find inner peace and it gnawed at him immensely.
Stewart opined: “Whatever else his religion had done for him, it had certainly not yet brought him peace with God, and he was beginning to feel it never would. Against that feeling he fought with might and main. To toy with it would be treachery. To countenance it would be to blow out the light of faith and piety. Hence the fury of his attack on the new sect. Action might relieve his brooding. The wild whirlwind campaign might dissipate the uneasy shadows and questionings which were hanging about his mind. But stubbornly the shadows refused to lift. The questions persisted. Kick as he might, the goads still stung.”
Mentally and spiritually he was caught between a rock and a hard place. He couldn’t bring himself to simply abandon the religion he’d spent his whole life studying so he’d opted to take his frustration out on Jesus’ followers. Yet the goads continued piercing him because there were so many otherwise intelligent, respectable people who believed Christ was who He said He was. He knew Jesus wasn’t a phony.
Stewart commented: “It isn’t credible that a man like the young Pharisee from Tarsus, with a mind so keen, alert and wide awake, and a soul so passionately religious, would allow any contemporary movement of thought or any new kind of religion to escape his scrutiny. He knew of Jesus’ Messianic claim. Contact with the victims of his persecution added to his knowledge of their fundamental beliefs and stimulated his curiosity about a Man who, even when He was dead (as this Man assuredly was), could rouse such devotion in His followers. He couldn’t quite cast off an impression which his own inquiries into Jesus’ teaching and character had produced, nor silence a still small voice that bore a different witness. It was hard to kick against the goads.”
Paul was also impressed with how Christians conducted themselves when attacked. No matter how many insults, injuries and hardships they were subjected to on a daily basis, they displayed a remarkable amount of faith, happiness, and courage that was inexplicable. They obviously possessed something he’d been hungering after his entire life but had never experienced. He desperately wanted what they had.
One of the Psalmists had prophesied the way folks like Paul would view God’s elect when he wrote: “At that time we laughed loudly and shouted for joy. At that time the nations said, ‘The LORD has accomplished great things for these people‘“ (Psalm 126:2). Surely Paul realized that Christians in general had obtained something he hadn’t.
The death of Stephen probably affected him most. Stewart wrote, “If there was one circumstance to which Paul’s mind would frequently return, it must’ve been the strange way in which Stephen’s last words appeared to tally with and verify the central Christian belief that Jesus who’d died was alive and exalted in glory. Hadn’t Stephen with his dying breath declared, ‘I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing on the right hand of God?‘ Hadn’t he spoken to One unseen and cried, ‘Lord Jesus, receive my spirit?‘ (Acts 7:54-60). The memory of Stephen’s eyes as he gazed heavenward in death, and of his colloquy with some living Spirit whom he called by Jesus’ name, troubled the Pharisee’s soul. It was hard to kick against the goads.”
R.C. Sproul had a lot to say about Paul’s reaction to the horrible spectacle of martyrdom he’d approved. He opined: “Paul knew the execution of Stephen was unjust. Paul knew the execution was against the Law of Moses, of which he was an expert. Yet he let it happen. That’s our introduction to the man. He almost certainly at that time in his life thought he was doing the right thing, just as many people today believe that women ought to have the right to kill their own babies.”
Sproul added, “Paul was sure he was right, but he couldn’t have been more wrong than to participate in the murder of a saint. Later on, Paul referred to himself as ‘the chief of sinners‘ (1 Timothy 1:15). He wasn’t being dramatic or humble; he really believed it, because if anyone should have known better on that day in Jerusalem, it was Saul of Tarsus.”
Stephen’s brutal murder haunted him. That was the goad that pricked Paul most.









